Tuesday, May 5, 2009

The Big Bang Theory

The latest and greatest of shows on television today.

I have Jesse** to thank for this one. He bought the first season on DVD and forced me to watch every on of them over a 3 night period. It may sound like pure torture but instead it was pure goodness!

CBS describes the show as…

Leonard and Sheldon are brilliant physicists, the kind of "beautiful minds" that understand how the universe works. But none of that genius helps them interact with people, especially women. All this begins to change when a free-spirited beauty named Penny moves in next door. Sheldon, Leonard's roommate, is quite content spending his nights playing Klingon Boggle with their socially dysfunctional friends, fellow CalTech scientists Wolowitz and Koothrappali. However, Leonard sees in Penny a whole new universe of possibilities... including love.

I, of course, LOVE Sheldon! After all, he gets the best lines!

Sheldon Cooper Quotations - Season 1
This list is courtesy of sheldonshirts.com

Season 1, Episode 1 (Pilot)

Well, today we tried masturbating for money.

Yes, it tells us that you participate in the mass cultural delusion that the sun’s apparent position relative to arbitrarily defined constellations at the time of your birth somehow affects your personality.

Season 1, Episode 2 (The Big Bran Hypothesis)

Ah gravity, thou art a heartless bitch.

I am truly sorry for what happened last night. I take full responsibility and I hope it won’t color your opinion of Leonard, who is not only a wonderful guy but also, I hear, a gentle and thorough lover.

Season 1, Episode 3 (The Fuzzy Boots Corollary)

At least now you can retrieve the black box from the twisted smoldering wreckage that was once your fantasy of dating her and analyze the data so that you don't crash into geek mountain again.

I think that you have as much of a chance of having a sexual relationship with Penny as the Hubble Telescope does of discovering at the center of every black hole is little man with a flashlight searching for a circuit breaker.

Season 1, Episode 4 (The Luminous Fish Effect)

Oh, I'm sorry. Did I insult you? Is your body mass somehow tied into your self worth?

Season 1, Episode 5 (The Hamburger Postulate)

Do you realize I may have to share a Nobel Prize with your booty call?

Of course I'm listening. Blah blah, hopeless Penny delusion, blah blah blah.

Season 1, Episode 7 (The Dumpling Paradox)

I'll watch the last 24 minutes of Doctor Who, although at this point it's more like Doctor Why Bother.

No, I’m going to ask him to choose between sex and Halo 3. As far as I know, sex has not been upgraded to include high-def graphics and enhanced weapon systems.

Season 1, Episode 8 (The Grasshopper Experiment)

I understand, but it was between you and the Museum of Natural History, and frankly, you don't have dinosaurs.

Season 1, Episode 9 (The Cooper-Hofstadter Polarization)

Forget your suit. Look at my arms flailing. I'm like a flamingo on Ritalin.

Well, there's always the possibility that a trash can spontaneously formed around the letter, but Occam's Razor would suggest that someone threw it out.

Season 1, Episode 10 (The Loobenfeld Decay)

I don’t guess. As a scientist I reach conclusions based on observation and experimentation. Although, as I’m saying this, it occurs to me that you may have been employing a rhetorical device, rendering my response moot.

Season 1, Episode 11 (The Pancake Batter Anomaly)

We have no idea what pathogen Typhoid Penny’s introduced into our environment. And having never been to Nebraska I’m relatively certain that I have no Corn Husking antibodies.

Obviously you're not well-suited for three-dimensional chess. Perhaps three-dimensional Candyland would be your speed.

Season 1, Episode 12 (The Jerusalem Duality)

While Mr. Kim, by virtue of youth and naiveté, has fallen prey to the inexplicable need for human contact, let me step in and assure you that my research will go on uninterrupted, and that social relationships will continue to baffle and repulse me.

Engineering: where the noble semi-skilled laborers execute the vision of those who think and dream. Hello, Ooompa-Loompas of science.

Season 1, Episode 13 (The Bat Jar Conjecture)

Yes, well, I’m polymerized tree sap and you’re an inorganic adhesive, so whatever verbal projectile you launch in my direction is reflected off of me, returns to its original trajectory and adheres to you.

At this point I should inform you that I intend to form my own team and destroy the molecular bonds that bind your very matter together and reduce the resulting particular chaos to tears. One more thing. It’s on, bitch.

Season 1, Episode 14 (The Nerdvana Annihilation)

I disagree. Your inability to successfully woo Penny long predates your acquisition of the time machine. That failure clearly stands on its own.

In a Venn diagram, that would be an individual located at the intersection of the sets “no longer want my Time Machine” and “need 800 dollars”.

Season 1, Episode 15 (The Shiksa Indeterminacy)

They were not “friends”. They were imaginary colleagues.

Season 1, Episode 16 (The Peanut Reaction)

What twelve year old boy wants a motorized dirt bike?

What computer do you have? And please don't say "a white one."

Season 1, Episode 17 (The Tangerine Factor)

Actually, I thought the first two renditions were far more compelling. Previously, I felt sympathy for the Leonard character. Now I just find him to be whiny and annoying.

A few personal observations...

1) It makes you feel smart when you actually catch AND understand one of Sheldon's physicists comeback's and observations.

2) It helps to watch with a chemist that can tell what molecule is being represented on Leonard's shirt.

The show comes on CBS, Mondays @ 8pm. The bad news, next week in the season finale!

**Jesse = 62.7% Sheldon.


Vermithrax said...

Did you determine that quantitation of my Sheldon percentage by pure math or was there an experimental process involved where you somehow measured it? Just curious. I would personally use a High Performance Liquid Chromatograph if that were possible. It can achieve a T value of 99 and is very robust in dealing with all kinds of contaminants that may or may not be present in a Sheldon solution!

Annabella said...